...for whom the wall tolls
I have to do this here. Posting it on facebook direct wouldn't be "politically correct".
Our friend Billy died earlier today from an apparent infection in or near his brain.
Saying he was a dear and close friend wouldn't be accurate, however every time Billy showed up for one of our parties or whenever we would have a random conversation (not so much recently, but I will miss the fact that he preferred REAL conversation as opposed to texting or messages) we would hug, chat & get along like old girlfriends. I will truly miss him.
Here's my, um.. problem? no, my dilemma? my bitch? maybe all three. It's the fact that whenever somebody dies in the REAL world, numerous people find it necessary to post their condolences in the FAKE world on the person's facebook wall.... some of them speaking to the person as if they're actually reading, or worse, that the family of the deceased is sitting there scrolling through facebook reading it.
Why do some feel this is important? Why do they do this? He's fucking DEAD! He won't be reading random facebook wall posts ever again. Sure, his family might.... IF they're actually on his friend's list. However from my experience with several gay friends, their immediate families aren't actually connected to them (via social networking, that is) So, now he's dead. Do you think Mom knows his passwords? Seriously, just fucking THINK first.
If you really want to genuinely "console" or "send condolences" to the deceased's family, MAYBE you should go to the trouble of finding out his Mother & Father's names. Brother's, Sister's, etc. Their address. Their phone number. Call. Send a card. Show up at the funeral/visitation.
I also have a major problem with the use of the abbreviation R.I.P. Every time I read those letters, all I can think of is some cheesy haunted house with a cemetery in front filled with old tombstones. And they're all gray & leaning over deep in weeds.
Honestly. If you're going to be so fucking lazy about "consoling" the bereaved, can you at least use entire words rather than initials??
It's just that I've had to scroll through several facebook "grief fests" after the fact this year and here's what I've learned. The majority of people who do this, are doing it for the sake of face. Period.
Before you throw a shit fit and back judge me, let me finish by saying this: I'm a hypocrite. More than likely neither Jim or I will contact any of Billy's people. Sure, we'll still see & hang with our mutual friends, but that will probably be about it.
We might go to the visitation, but that's a might.
Maybe I shouldn't have written this so soon, but it's a "personal blog" filled with opinion. They happen to be mine. You know what they say about opinions, they're like assholes, everybody's got one, and they all stink.
Comment away if you feel the need, I don't care. Just please take something away from this, if you read it that is... next time you decide to be a facebook do-gooder following the death of a friend -close or not- just send a fucking private message to the deceased will ya? After all, if they are reading it, you know they'll be more likely to see a red highlight above their message icon than just another random wall update.
Think about it.
